They Break My Hearts
by NightSand
Summary: One-shots about Doctor Who's saddest moments. Ranges from the 9th Doctor's time, all the way to 11th. May need a box of tissues! Chapter 3: The Master dies on the Valiant.
1. They Break My Hearts

**I have recently become - well, actually, re-become a massive Doctor Who fan. And I thought, 'This show is seriously sad. It's a heartbreaker.'**

**And it is. Every single series has at least one sad moment (Personally, I think that series 4 had the most.). Anyway, I have decided that it is a great fandom to get rid of all me sad and depressing emotions. **

**So, from now on, this story will become a series of one-shots, all featuring some sad scene, or combining a couple. Basically, just Doctor Who and sadness.**

**Sound good?**

**Ok, well here's the first one that has been up for a while. It is a one-shot about the Doctor losing all his companions. It describes the pain he felt with each one. This one is still called They Break My Hearts.**

**It happens just before the Christmas special, The Snowmen, and after Angels Take Manhattan.**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the described people, monsters or places.**_

* * *

**Key:**

Memories: Normal

_Present Time/Doctor in TARDIS: Italics_

**TARDIS: Bold**

* * *

**They Break My Hearts**

_The Doctor stared unseeing at the TARDIS console. Little Amelia Pond, The Girl Who Waited, was gone. Forever. Just like so many others._

_Memories arose, bringing with them the emotional pain that he had tried so hard to forget._

_Maybe it was time to face them._

* * *

Rose Tyler – he remembered the first word he said to her. 'Run', then he grabbed her hand and ran, pulling her away from the walking dummies. He remembered her curiosity, and the time when he told her that he could feel the Earth turning. Then, later, her rescuing him from the living plastic, and running towards him and the TARDIS.

They had faced so much together – the end of the world, gas spirits, the empty child, the rift in time, even the Daleks. She had been with him when he regenerated, and had come to trust the new face on the old Doctor. They had defeated Sycorax, krilitines, Cassandra and the diseased, a werewolf, clockwork creatures and the Cybermen. He had felt so desperate when she became a victim of the Wire, and thought he had lost her to the black hole on the impossible planet.

He was so glad he had been wrong.

_The Doctor shuddered before plunging back into his memories. He knew what was coming next. It was one of the worst times in his life._

They had been captured by Torchwood – him, Rose and Jackie. The Cybermen were coming back, and the Daleks were too. To save the Earth, the Doctor had been forced to open the Void. Cybermen and Daleks alike had been sucked in.

Then Rose started to slip. He remembered half screaming her name, and he watched her get pulled towards the Void. But Pete, her dad had saved her by taking her to an alternate universe.

Where the Doctor couldn't get her.

That was the first time his hearts broke. His last message to her had been cut short, and he never got to tell her that he loved her.

_The last Timelord wrenched himself away from those painful memories. 'She's gone. She's happy.' he whispered, before returning to his mind._

* * *

He saw her – black hair, dark skin, brown eyes. Martha Jones, a doctor in training. He first met her on the moon, with the Judoon and the 'vampire'. He had offered her one trip.

_The Doctor smiled sadly. One trip. It had never been that. He saw that fact now._

In that 'one trip' they had seen Shakespeare, visited the Face of Boe in New Earth, and watched him die. They defeated more Daleks, and stopped the monster Lazarus. After that, Martha had become a proper companion.

The hardest thing for Martha had been when, to escape the Family of Blood, he turned human. She watched as his human self fell in love, despite being in love with him herself.

After the mess with the Weeping Angels, they went to the end of the universe with Captain Jack Harkness. It was there that the Doctor had found the Master.

Back in 21st century Earth, they found that the Master was Harold Saxon, the Prime Minister. Martha had journeyed around the world on foot, to save the Doctor and the rest of the Earth.

She was almost braver than Rose.

And yet, she chose to leave him and his hearts broke for the second time.

_The Doctor remembered what he had felt. Confusion - what had he done wrong? Sadness - it was his fault that her family was broken. Loneliness - he had been counting on having Martha to lean on for a little while, until he got used to the idea that he was the last of his kind again. But it wasn't to be._

* * *

The second time he found Donna Noble went towards healing his broken hearts. She was good for him – he knew that. She kept him from going too far, taught him to stop.

Together they saved a family from Pompeii, the Oods, and returned to Earth to save Martha and the rest of the world from the Sontarens' plan. He had offered Martha to come with them again, but she still refused.

Then the TARDIS took them to a planet in war. Another heartbreak was in store for him. He gained a daughter – and lost her.

The pain was worse than anything else he had felt before.

_Tears began running down his face.. Jenny was gone. Her two hearts hadn't been enough to save her. His own felt like they had been ripped out of his chest. _

He and Donna had met Agatha Christie, and figured out the reason for her disappearance and memory loss.

Then there was the Library. River Song, a mysterious woman who knew everything about him – more than what he had told any of his companions. Donna Noble 'leaving' the Library. And the death of River, who he barely knew, but was happy to sacrifice herself for him. At least he had managed to save her in the end.

He had taken Donna to an alien market, and she created an alternate universe under the control of a fortune teller. She had come back, and told him she had seen Rose. The message from her was 'Bad Wolf'.

At first he was overjoyed – Rose was coming back! But then the Daleks had come too. He had been forced by Davros to see all the deaths he had caused all over again.

_His body shook as he saw their faces flash by. 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I wanted to save you' he tried to tell them. But he knew it was his fault. Rory had been right. He did make people want to be heroes._

Donna had absorbed his cleverness while accidently creating a human version of him. She had saved them all, but the information had been too much for her brain. To save her he had taken all of her memories of him, and the wonderful things they had done.

By now, his hearts were nearly in pieces. So many died, or left him.

And so he left, trying to find somewhere away from the pain. But it followed him wherever he tried to save someone, until he accepted that he had to die. He said goodbye to everyone he had known, and regenerated.

_The Doctor was crouched in a ball on the floor of the TARDIS. Tears streamed down his face as he remembered them all. All those that he had lost. His tenth incarnation had suffered so much. But there was still more._

* * *

Amelia Pond. The little girl who waited for the strange man in a box who ate fish fingers and custard to take her away. Amy Pond, who left on the eve of her wedding to Rory. The girl that the universe seemed to rotate around. They had fought Daleks, Weeping Angels, his darker side, Silurians and even met Van Gogh.

Then she died. She died twice actually. The first time had been when the Pandorica opened, and when the universe started to collapse on itself.

She had brought him back from the dead, and he took her and Rory away together. They did so much, the three of them.

But the Weeping Angels ruined it all.

Rory had been trapped in a paradox created by the Angels. He died an old age, but without Amy. Amy couldn't stand the idea of him growing old without her, and so when Rory was sent back the last time, she went with him. The Doctor was devastated.

_He rocked back and forth on the TARDIS floor, tears still snaking down his face. His hearts weren't broken, they were shattered. He had lost so much, all because of the universe he tried so hard to save. If this was his reward, the universe would have to save itself. He would no longer do it._

_The tears on the Timelord's face dried and his face hardened as he stood up. He had made a decision. No more would he save the universe. He would find a place to stay, and grow old._

* * *

**The TARDIS saw all this, and was worried. She didn't like seeing her thief in pain, and he obviously was. As he stood, and that hard expression came onto his face, she frowned mentally. Something inside her thief was wrong. The Timelord wasn't the cheerful, boyish self that he normally was. That person was locked away, deep inside him under layers of pain and grief.**

**Through time, the TARDIS saw terrible things would come of this, and so she looked through the entire universe, every crack in time, to find a person or thing to heal her thief. With a whir of relief, she found them.**

_And so, when the Timelord pulled the lever that would take him away, the TARDIS took him to 1940s London, Earth._

* * *

**Any of you cry when the Doctor took Donna's memories? When River died? When Jenny died? I did... :'(**

**BTW, I meant in the episodes, not in my story.**

**Reviews? For the sake of all those poor companions?**

**This one I'm not entirely happy with, but the next few will be better, I promise. :)**

**Goodbye, fellow Whovians**

**NightSand**


	2. I'll Look Into His Eyes

**So guys, this is the second sad, angsty Doctor Who one-shot I've written. **

**Its all about River Song, and her thoughts during 'Silence in the Library'/'Forest of the Dead'. It has spoilers for her whole timeline, except for that in 'The Name of the Doctor'.**

**I hope you like it. :)**

**By the way, things in italics and bold is words that River said to Rory in 'The Impossible Astronaut'. **

**Cry me a River.**

_**Disclaimer: I would be impressed if a teenage girl who lives in Australia can own Doctor Who. I don't. It is all very sad.**_

* * *

**I'll Look Into His Eyes**

**_"The Doctor's death doesn't scare me; nor does my own. There's a far worse day coming for me…"_**

River Song looks up at the Doctor. He was wearing his old blue suit and brown trench coat. His hair was all over the place, sticking up in all directions.

She's never seen him look like that before – only in the pictures she keeps in her TARDIS blue diary. He is older than her Doctor, the one she meets so often, yet somehow younger. His face is drawn in anger, so much like the older version.

"Hello sweetie." She smiles at him, expecting the usual reply – the shy (and slightly embarrassed) smile and witty comment.

"Get out." The words are flat and dead. Inside her, something stumbles at the harshness of his tone.

"All of you; turn around, get back in your rocket and fly away! Tell your grandchildren you came to the Library and lived. They won't believe you."

River ignores him. She knows that he just wants to protect her. _That's probably also the reason for his cutting first words_, she reasons with herself. "Pop your helmets, everyone. We've got breathers."

Anita speaks up. "How do you know they're not androids?"

She smiles again. "Because I've dated androids. They're rubbish." _Well, _she thinks, _except for when it's __**him**_. The memory is fond – their wedding, on top of a pyramid.

Lux looks angrily between the Doctor and River. "Who is this? You said we were the only expedition. I paid for exclusives."

"I lied. I'm always lying. Bound to be others." _Rule I: The Doctor lies_. Now she does too.

Lux turns away to Miss Evengelista.

River Song looks back at the Doctor, who is standing silently, furiously observing the activity around him. "You came through the north door, yeah? How was that; much damage?" she asks flippantly.

He looks at her, a pleading in his eyes (those young eyes), battling with the anger in his voice. "Please, just leave. I'm asking you seriously and properly, just leave." He stops, and looks around at the group. "Hang on. Did you say expedition?"

"My expedition. I funded it." Lux answers him.

The Doctor stares at him for a few seconds, and spins around to include the rest. "Oh, you're not, are you? Tell me you're not archaeologists."

River frowns inwardly. Ever since she first met the Doctor, he knew she was going to be an archaeologist. Before she knew herself, even. But she shakes off the doubt, forcing herself to believe that he means the group, not her.

"Got a problem with archaeologists?"

His eyes meet hers. "I'm a time traveller. I point and laugh at archaeologists."

"Ah. Professor River Song, archaeologist." She sticks out her hand for him to shake. He takes it, before propelling her back towards the door.

"River Song, lovely name. As you're leaving now, you need to set up a quarantine beacon. Code wall the planet – the whole planet. Nobody comes here, not ever again. Not one living thing, not here, not ever."

River watches as he orders her team (Lux may delude himself that this was his expedition, but she's in charge here) around. He is so different, and yet the same as her Doctor. But he acts like she's a stranger.

**_"When I first met the Doctor – long, long time ago – he knew all about me. My past is his future. We're travelling in opposite directions. Every time we meet, I know him more… he knows me less."_**

She prays that they have met, at least once. Even one more meeting before the time when he won't know her is better than nothing. She knows that their time together won't last, that some day he will meet her for the first time, but her heart overrules her common sense – just like it always has.

* * *

"Pretty boy, with me!" she calls to him. Time that she found out where in his timeline they are.

"Thanks." River thanks him once they are alone.

"For what?" Just like the old times, the Doctor looks confused at her words.

"The usual. For coming when I call."

"Oh, that was you?"

Her heart sinks lower with every word he utters. "You're doing a very good job, acting like you don't know me. I'm assuming there's a reason."

The Doctor looks her straight in the eye, peering as if to see behind them. "A fairly good one, actually."

**_"I live for the days when I see him, but I know that every time I do, he'll be one step further away."_**

She studies him, hoping that he will expand on his words, tell her the reason. But he doesn't; just looks back at her.

River clears her throat. "Okay, shall we do diaries then?" She picks up her diary – the diary that he gave her, so very long ago. "Where are we this time? Er, going by your face, I'd say early days for you, yeah? So, er, crash of the Byzantium. Have we done that yet?"

The man in front of her stares blankly back.

"Obviously ringing no bells. Right. Oh, picnic at Asgard. Have we done Asgard yet?"

_Please, please say yes._ But there's no response. River Song's chest tightens. _Not this time. It can't be now._

"Obviously not. Blimey, very early then. Whoo, life with a time traveller. Never knew it could be such hard work." She keeps flicking through her diary, searching for another event. He just stays where he is, leaning against a counter.

Glancing up, their eyes meet again. She lets out a breath that she didn't know she has been holding.

"Look at you. Oh, you're young."

He gives a small shake of his head, the eyebrows lifting. "I'm really not, you know."

River leans forward. "Oh, but you are." Involuntarily, her hand creeps to his face and strokes his cheek. "Your eyes. You're younger than I've seen you."

The Doctor's eyes flick between her face and her fingers. "You've seen me before, then?"

Those five words add to her growing suspicion. Her small smile of wonder slides off her face. _No, no, he's just trying to establish where we are in my timeline._

"Doctor, please tell me you know who I am."

**_"The day is coming when I'll look into that man's eyes; my Doctor… and he won't have the faintest idea who I am."_**

"Who are you?"

The fire of hope that was already embers now is extinguished. River fights back tears – she doesn't want the Doctor's first memory of her to be tears. Because now she knows that her worst fears have come true.

The man she loves enough to destroy time, just to save his life, has no clue who she is.

She watches him bound around, doing his usual tricks to figure out the source of the phone ringing. As he pulls out his sonic screwdriver she fingers her own, that he will one day give to her. It had been such a wonderful gift, even though it was his old one (the same one she saw this current Doctor had, no doubt). She had been so proud that he trusted her enough to give it to her.

Right now, she would have given it up in a minute if it meant that she didn't have to experience this.

* * *

As he explains his plan to wire himself up to the computer, she knows that this is it. Being the same, selfless man that he always is, he will do it without a second thought, even though he probably knows as well as she does that it is unlikely that he will survive. He's prepared to do anyway though.

River Song can't let him.

If he dies now, in the Library, she'll never have met him. All those things they did together, the planets they saved and adventures they had, gone in a second.

And so she knocks him out, handcuffs him and takes his place in the circuitry. When he regains consciousness, he still tries to talk her into letting him do the job.

Because that's the sort of man he is. And being the woman the she is, River can't let him.

She knows that she's going to die. She understands now why he cried at the Towers of Darillium. He knew.

Just before the countdown ends, signalling the end of her life, she remembers her words to Rory as they investigated the tunnels under New York.

**_"And I think it's going to kill me."_**

* * *

**I recently watched 'The Impossible Astronaut', and those words... Knowing what will happen to River just makes them all the sadder. **

**I'm sorry if I got some of the tenses wrong - it's meant to be mostly in present tense, but I've never really done that, so I'm not sure if I used all the correct terms. Please let me know if I've missed one or two, or if I used the wrong one.**

**So... That's all! **

**Join us next time for more sad Doctor Who moments!**

**NightSand**


	3. Come Undone

**I wrote a SongFic! Wooo!**

**Here it is...**

_**Disclaimer: Yeah, I do not own the song, or Doctor Who. Don't I wish it though.**_

* * *

_**Open up wide**_

_**Swallow down deep**_

_**No spoon full of sugar could make it sweet**_

The bitter taste of failure.

His work of months for nothing.

Nothing.

Failure.

The world turned sour.

It was _his_ fault.

The Doctor.

And now he waited for his _judgement_.

He couldn't care less what they did to him now.

_**The cancer inside**_

_**Stealing my sleep**_

_**Night after night, it keeps haunting me**_

The drums. They never stopped.

Ever since the Untempered Schism, they had been with him. A constant beat of four, accompanying his entire life. Always there, without fail.

Even as a human, they followed him.

Not one night of quiet, not a single second of silence.

They were present as his fate was decided. When the Doctor announced his intention to _keep_ him, they kept their time, their rhythm.

They never faltered as the bullet buried itself in his flesh.

_**The secrets I keep**_

_**Are tearing me up**_

_**Inside, I try to hide them and I wonder why**_

_**I wonder why I'm still running when I know there's no escape**_

Death.

He'd always run away from it.

But it always caught up with him. This time, in the form of a woman with a gun.

He's about to start the regeneration process, before a thought strikes him. What was the point? Why did he keep running, the drums in his head echoing his pounding footsteps. Every time he only stayed one foot in front, one beat in the lead.

How long could he keep doing this?

_**Come undone**_

_**Surrender is stronger**_

_**I don't need to be the hero tonight**_

_**We all want love**_

_**We all want honour**_

_**Nobody wants to pay the asking price**_

The drums have driven him mad.

He always knew it. He wasn't one of the madmen who pretended that they were sane.

No. He embraced his insanity. All morals disappeared, leaving him with the freedom to do anything, Everything. His mind had unravelled long before now. It was a wonder that he could still speak coherently.

But maybe that was it.

Just like he was the only one to hear the drums, he was the only one who saw his madness.

He wasn't the hero – heroes don't go mad. But villains – it was always more exciting to have deranged bad guys.

And yet…. Maybe it was the tiny shred of goodness that still lived in him that made him make the decision.

He would die, right here, right now, and remove the Master from the universe.

_**Fall on my knees**_

_**Fall on my pride**_

_**I'm tripping over all the times I've lied**_

As soon as the bang rang out, he was holding his old enemy (friend?) in his arms. He lowered him to the ground, sinking down with him.

He knew he was risking loyalty from the Jones' in being caring, but what else could he do? They had billions of others in their race.

The only one he had was lying in his arms.

_**I'm asking please**_

_**But I can see in your eyes**_

_**You don't need tears for alibis**_

He pleaded_ ("Regenerate. Just regenerate. Please. Please! Just regenerate, come on!"),_ but it was no use.

The Master had made his decision.

And it wasn't to live.

The utter rejection of life stung. He wanted to ask why_ ("Is it really so bad to be with me?")_.

The words don't come.

It wouldn't make a difference anyway.

_**It's true what they say**_

_**Love must blind**_

_**That's why you're still standing by this sinner's side**_

_**You're still by my side when all the things I've done have left you bleeding**_

It astonishes him, that after all that he has done, the Doctor still wants him.

The slaughter of the apes hasn't changed anything.

OF course, now it had never happened.

But if it were him….

He would leave the other Timelord lying on the ground.

The emotions don't make sense. How could the Doctor forget all of that?

The Year That Never Was.

It still happened.

But the affection (Hatred? Where was the hatred?) that the Doctor showed carried no sign of that year.

Was it possibly to forget everything for someone?

_**Come undone**_

_**Surrender is stronger**_

_**I don't need to be the hero tonight**_

_**We all want love**_

_**We all want honour**_

_**Nobody wants to pay the asking price**_

He's losing the battle.

The Master refuses regeneration, slamming each pleading word back in his face.

His rigid control on his emotions has slipped, and tears have started running down his face.

Lonely tracks.

He is feeling so lonely already.

_**I don't think I can drive it home tonight**_

Dying was never this painful.

His breathes are short and ragged.

He's not going to make it – both Timelord's know.

He's happy.

The drums. They are getting louder. Will he be free of them?

Will it be too quiet without them?

Death is so close now.

_**I don't think I want to be alone tonight**_

Denial flows from his lips _("It can't end like this")._

Loneliness.

_(We're the only two left.")_

The burden of being the last of his kind is descending quickly once more.

He doesn't want it.

Triumph flares in the Master's eyes. _("How about that. I WIN.")_

He watches as his whole world tumbles down, takes his last breath and dies.

_I'm all alone._

_**Come undone**_

_**Surrender is stronger**_

_**I don't need to be the hero tonight**_

_**We all want love**_

_**We all want honour**_

_**Nobody wants to pay the asking price**_

His face was a flood, as he clutched desperately at the body.

As if holding him would make him come back.

But it didn't.

A scream of pain, and loss, and suffering burst from within him.

He couldn't be strong.

Not now.

He was the last of his kind.

So alone.

Again.

_**Come undone**_

_**Surrender is stronger**_

_**I don't need to be the hero tonight**_

_**We all want love**_

_**We all want honour**_

_**Nobody wants to pay the asking price**_

Tears are gone.

No more.

He can be strong – on the outside.

Inside, he's curled up in a ball.

Hurting. Always hurting.

Why did he continue on?

It would be so easy to just surrender.

_**Come undone**_

_**Surrender is stronger**_

_**I don't need to be the hero tonight**_

_**We all want love**_

_**We all want honour**_

_**Nobody wants to pay the asking price**_

The body burns.

So brightly.

For a moment he can almost imagine the flames are regeneration.

Then he feels the emptiness in his head and heart.

They're not.

Only ordinary flames.

Because he is the last one left.

_**Come undone**_

_**Surrender is stronger**_

_**I don't need to be the hero tonight**_

_**We all want love**_

_**We all want honour**_

_**Nobody wants to pay the asking price**_

He wasn't the hero.

He couldn't save what mattered most.

And the Master paid the price.

Last of the Timelords.

Last.

One.

All alone.

Just him.

_**Come undone**_

_**Surrender is stronger**_

_**I don't need to be the hero tonight**_

* * *

**In case you didn't get it, that was the Master dying in 'Last of the Timelords'.**

**The song is Undone by FFH (Far From Home). I felt like it just really fitted.**

**Till next time!**

**NightSand**


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